when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
