Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
