Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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