you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
