we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
