For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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