We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize