once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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