I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
