forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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