How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
