hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
