Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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