i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
