It's Friday. Sex?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
