Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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