I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
