I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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