nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
