he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
