this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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