Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize