Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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