He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im holly from the hills drunk
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
