I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
