he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
