Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
