just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
