Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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