I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
PANTIES FOUND
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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