Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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