the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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