never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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