omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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