I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
