Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
