I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
His nipple licking is glorious
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