man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize