Welp...herpes.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize