you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
