My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
