I think scott just propositioned me for sex
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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