Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
