sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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