I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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