She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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