Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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