Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Blood and glitter go together right?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
