I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
