i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
