it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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