She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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