My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
