they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
