There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
