Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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