Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
