I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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