hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
this hospital has no fireball
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
