About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize