Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize