Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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