they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
