I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
