I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
