i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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