I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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