Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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