he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize