she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
