Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
