I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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