I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
