He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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