...so i touched it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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