Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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