just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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