my soul wont recognize me after tonight
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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